Not much is going on to blog about right now so I thought I'd fill you all in on Landan. I mentioned earlier that he is in therapy. That would be Occupational Therapy. The reason for this is he has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Let me explain a little bit about this.
When Landan was 18 mo. he was referred to early intervention because he had a speech delay. That is... he wasn't speaking at all. It was a blessing in disguise. While they were evaluating him for speech services I told them about Landan's abnormal eating habits that I was concerned about. When we tried to transition to table food he would spit most of the bites out or gag or choke on them and he rarely actually ate anything. An occupational therapist evaluated him and said he had sensory processing disorder and this was causing his eating problems. She did some therapy through early intervention and he got better. I thought we had fixed the problem.
I was wrong. The older Landan gets, the more and more difficult he is to manage. He spins out of control on a regular basis. He seems to be taking a long time to "grow up" and be like kids his age emotionally. Simple things like going to the grocery store are a disaster. There are always meltdowns and tantrums and there have been times that I have had to literally drag him out of the store. He gets into trouble all the time (see earlier blogs about his continued destroying of my brand new living room carpet). It's so frustrating.
I thought I was such a bad mom. I began imagining him growing up and becoming a monster because he was always in trouble and all because I couldn't figure out how to discipline properly. I started being harsher on him which just made him more upset and me more frustrated. It was almost worse for me to discipline him because I could see he didn't mean to be bad but he needed to know that his behavior was unexceptable. I hated taking him anywhere because I would be embarrassed over his behavior and I was pretty sure it was my fault.
I thought maybe he had ADHD at one point. Or maybe he had some psychological disorder. Maybe he had some weird form of autism. I looked for answers everywhere and nothing seemed to fit. Then one day I talked to the Occupational Therapist that I work with in the NICU. She has become a good friend of mine. I told her of the troubles I had been having. She asked a few questions and immediately knew the answer..."He sounds like a classic SPD kid." That was it! The AHA! moment. I remembered them talking about this when he was little and suddenly it all fit. I looked at several different checklists of symptoms and he fit them so well. I finally had my answer. My son isn't crazy, he's not being bad and maybe, I"m not a bad mother. Maybe he just needs help.
He's now goes to OT once a week and it's wonderful. She says he is a textbook case. He's going to need a lot of special considerations for most of his life, especially in school, but at least I now know why he does what he does. It is such a relief to have a name for his behaviors, to know that he's not just an angry kid but there is a reason he gets so frustrated all the time.
In the next post I'll tell you what SPD is and how it affects Landan specifically.
When Landan was 18 mo. he was referred to early intervention because he had a speech delay. That is... he wasn't speaking at all. It was a blessing in disguise. While they were evaluating him for speech services I told them about Landan's abnormal eating habits that I was concerned about. When we tried to transition to table food he would spit most of the bites out or gag or choke on them and he rarely actually ate anything. An occupational therapist evaluated him and said he had sensory processing disorder and this was causing his eating problems. She did some therapy through early intervention and he got better. I thought we had fixed the problem.
I was wrong. The older Landan gets, the more and more difficult he is to manage. He spins out of control on a regular basis. He seems to be taking a long time to "grow up" and be like kids his age emotionally. Simple things like going to the grocery store are a disaster. There are always meltdowns and tantrums and there have been times that I have had to literally drag him out of the store. He gets into trouble all the time (see earlier blogs about his continued destroying of my brand new living room carpet). It's so frustrating.
I thought I was such a bad mom. I began imagining him growing up and becoming a monster because he was always in trouble and all because I couldn't figure out how to discipline properly. I started being harsher on him which just made him more upset and me more frustrated. It was almost worse for me to discipline him because I could see he didn't mean to be bad but he needed to know that his behavior was unexceptable. I hated taking him anywhere because I would be embarrassed over his behavior and I was pretty sure it was my fault.
I thought maybe he had ADHD at one point. Or maybe he had some psychological disorder. Maybe he had some weird form of autism. I looked for answers everywhere and nothing seemed to fit. Then one day I talked to the Occupational Therapist that I work with in the NICU. She has become a good friend of mine. I told her of the troubles I had been having. She asked a few questions and immediately knew the answer..."He sounds like a classic SPD kid." That was it! The AHA! moment. I remembered them talking about this when he was little and suddenly it all fit. I looked at several different checklists of symptoms and he fit them so well. I finally had my answer. My son isn't crazy, he's not being bad and maybe, I"m not a bad mother. Maybe he just needs help.
He's now goes to OT once a week and it's wonderful. She says he is a textbook case. He's going to need a lot of special considerations for most of his life, especially in school, but at least I now know why he does what he does. It is such a relief to have a name for his behaviors, to know that he's not just an angry kid but there is a reason he gets so frustrated all the time.
In the next post I'll tell you what SPD is and how it affects Landan specifically.
2 comments:
What a blessing for you to have a diagnosis and the opportunity to work with an OT that knows about SPD. We have sensory issues in our family and it is nice to understand what is happening and recognize that your child's behavior is not necessarily a result of your parenting. :)
You might have already read this, but a book that helped me was "The Out-of-Sync Child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz. Hope things continue to improve.
i'm glad you had an OT to talk w/. don't therapists make your life better? we need to catch up more!
em
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